i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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