All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize