I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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