Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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