I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
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He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
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I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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