she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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