I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
