Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
