Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
