I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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