I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize