i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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