There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
