Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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