You made me cry and you don't even care
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
bring money and cleavage
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
