So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My cat gives me a boner
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
