i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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