How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
