No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
