Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize