More tranny stories later!
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
