Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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