his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
