My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i came on her dog
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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