Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
