my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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