my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
