Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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