a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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