so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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