Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
