My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Randomize
