She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
