addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
