Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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