Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
