Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes