We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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