I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
