the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
