Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
