I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
