Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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