she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
