Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
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If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
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You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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