now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
