:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
