just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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