they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
