At least make sure they are 18
Why
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
