I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
did i just pee glitter
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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