everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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