I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
