So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
