I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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