Can i not drive my cunt home
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
