I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
