You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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