Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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