i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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