He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
