im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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