Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
