we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
