my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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